Volume 3, Number 11, Page 6

Dear Prudence and Camilla / Letters to the Editor

Dear Prudence and Camilla,
	A mighty hello!  I just wanted to take a moment to share my experience with last 
issue's happy subscriber, E.M.E.  I, too, had a "compelling fantasy"  similar to that of 
E.M.E.'s.  Mine consisted of racing through my yard wearing nothing but a loincloth made 
of lettuce leaves.  Anyway, I found that the only way to quench my desire was to indulge 
in it.  Hey!  So the neighbors complain!  At least you rid yourself of that horrible 
feeling of want and need!  Just my advice, though.

P.S.  If you do indulge, make sure there's no fruit in the Jell-O.  You could hurt yourself.

	Fondly,

		Andrew Sigman

Letters To The Editor

Dear Editor,
	It has come to my attention, after receiving my late winter edition of your little 
paper (much later than everyone else), that I never, ever received the mid winter edition.
I, unlike certain other subscribers (Andrew Sigman), paid for my subscription to your 
newsletter, which is obviously filled with subliminal communist propaganda.  After bringing 
up this rather important subject to your less than courteous staff, I was prompted to write 
a letter.
	Just because nobody writes to you, doesn't mean you should withhold their paper 
simply to get a letter.  You people make me sick!  I expect the money from my subscription 
returned, all of my next editions to be delivered to me the day they come out, a full 
apology (both in person and in print), and I expect that all involved parties are to be 
fired promptly.

      Jared DeWitt
      (No connection to the MI militia.)

P.S.  Expect your OUMMCBNOM offices to be firebombed.

Dear Mr. DeWitt,
	Your capitalist blather makes us sick, as well.  However, we believe you will be 
happy to find that this issue and the previous issue were delivered directly to your 
doorstep, still hot off the Xerox machine.
	As for the matter of firing our staff members, well, that is the job of the staff 
apleyanee expert, who tragically perished in a bathtub accident last year.  We were not 
able to replace the staff apleyanee expert because, as you know, there is a shortage of 
trained apleyanee experts looking for jobs today.  Now, those of us involved in the whole 
affair cannot really fire ourselves, can we?
	We apologize sincerely for any inconvenience this may have caused you.
	Thank you for your letter.

Dear Ed,
	I think we need a YAK contest.  I think this because some former hippo contest 
winners have gotten hairier and have now [SIC] look more like yaks.
	I don't want to name names but Melissa is one of these people.

             Melissa         Furball

	Sincerely,

			Andrew Sigman

A Letter From The Editor

I hope that you have enjoyed this edition of the OUMMCBNOM, because we put a lot of time 
into making it especially for you!
Please remember to do the following:
 a)  Write a letter to Prudence and Camilla  
 b)  Send in your vote for OUMMCBNOM mission statement  
 c)  Write a letter to the Editor
 d)  Send a monetary donation
 e)  Send a literary donation
Thank you.  We'll see you next issue!



 HELP WANTED
 Apleyanee expert
 needed for small,
 semi-underground
 newsletter.  Must
 have experience 
 as apleyanee expert.
 Please send resumes 
 to: KTBecker@aol.com



The Oakland County Teen Democrats is an organization founded 
earlier this year which seeks to involve people under the age of 19 in politics through a 
combination of work for the Democratic party and candidates believing in the ideas of the 
Democratic party, social events, and work for our community.
Recent meetings have been attended by guests such as Maxine Berman, David Gubow, and 
Gil Hill.  We also recently held a basketball tournament, a scavenger hunt, and a fourth 
of July barbecue.  Upcoming events include:  
Saturday, August 5, 10:30 AM Teen Democrats' Golf Outing  
Sunday, August 6, Time TBA Trip to Garden Park of Holly  
Sunday, August 13, 2:00 Discussion of essay on liberalism  
Sunday, August 20, 5:00 Fundraiser dinner for parents

For more information on these events or on the Teen Democrats in general, please write 
Kate Becker at KTBecker@aol.com.

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